We're home, actually have been since shortly after 11am this morning. Everything went really well and Dr. said their were significant signs of chronic inflamation with lesions, so it was definitely our best course of action. God is good.
Ally has been resting since we got home been up a couple of times for potty breaks and feeling some significant pain, I think her biggest pain came in big crocodile tears a few moments ago when she sobbed to me that she didn't want to miss the Charger game tonight! She loves her boys and hates being gone, I also think she is so ready to get back to normal life that she's just "over it" at this point. The Dr told us it will be 6-8 weeks before she can eat any dairy products, milk yogurt or cheese....which as a vegetarian is half of her diet! She has had a few bites of dry toast today and also 3-4 mini nilla wafers....sad.....but more than she's had in a LONG time!
Praying for comfort and patience for us all during the weekend...its her first time being a patient and she's not liking it one bit.
P
Friday, January 30, 2009
Surgery Today
It's 5:35ish....and we're almost ready to leave for the surgery center. Our oldest daughter, Allyson, is having her gall-bladder out this morning. It's been a rough 3 1/2 weeks of non-stop vomitting and frustration. We are grateful the Dr's were able to discover what was wrong with her so quickly, but we will be even more glad when this is all over and she is on the road to recovery!
Pray for Ally this morning, she's nervous and needs Gods calming reassurance that everything is in his hands.
Will update later as they say we will be home by lunchtime!
P
Pray for Ally this morning, she's nervous and needs Gods calming reassurance that everything is in his hands.
Will update later as they say we will be home by lunchtime!
P
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Heart Ache....
Last night I could not figure out what Lizzie was doing, but it sounded like a heard of cattle running through the house! As I was getting up to see what was wrong (it honestly sounded like someone has fallen down the entire stair set rolling from top to bottom!) Lizzie came rushing into the kitchen in a furry, grabbing a baggie and the rice and talking in such a blur it took me a minute to realize the was in tears sobbing that she had accidentally washed her ipod. I quickly scolded her and reminded her that this is the reason I am constantly reminding her to put her things where they belong. Lizzie has seen the cell phone trick of putting them in rice if they've been in water to try and dry them out....as she's getting this all together Ryan finds out she has already tried to turn her ipod on and begins yelling at her that she should know better, you can't try to turn it on....etc. She's now sobbing at loud crocodile tear level and really pretty devastated at this point. She rushes off to her room in a sad huff.
Lizzie is a very bright child.....to smart for her own good most days. Unfortunately since she's so smart, we tend to forget she really is only 11. My heart was quickly being convicted for yelling at her, yes, she does do her own laundry (all my girls do!) still....she is only 11, accidents do happen! I said to Ryan, frustrated that he had yelled at her also, should she REALLY know not to turn her IPOD on.....she is only 11!!! We are both guilty of thinking she is older than she really is because as the "baby" she constantly is trying to keep up with her older sisters....she is an awesome cook (yep...at only 11!) she does her own laundry, she's an excellent student, an awesome soccer player and she has a heart of gold. And yet her heart is broken that she may have ruined her own prized IPOD.
Lizzie just got her IPOD for Christmas. She LOVES it. She takes it everywhere with her and loves to add new songs to it. She just forgets to put it up, take it out of her sweatshirt pocket, last week she left it at school in the gym! It's not even that she's not appreciative of her things, she is....as a matter of fact, she's probably the most thankful child we have....not that the other two aren't thankful, Lizzie just really shows her appreciation to to others.
Now I'm torn....the Ipod is still sitting in rice, Lizzie was so heartbroken last night she sobbed for what seemed like hours. Her sisters each went and talked with her and were themselves sad when they saw how sad she truly was! She even asked me to come sing lullabies to her as she tried to get to sleep!.....and I DID!!!
The mom in me wants to just rush right out to walmart, buy her a new one and load all her music while she's at school! I know that's not the answer. I know this is a hard lesson that has to be learned in life. I know that this is one of those "this is why I tell you to put your things up" lessons in life. Man those stink. As moms we want to protect our children from moments like these in life.....and I tried. Unfortunately this is what happens when you don't listen to what your parents are trying to tell you.
What is someone trying to save you from right now and you feel as though your immune to the lesson? Our heavenly father tries daily to remind us to make him the ultimate teacher in our lives and yet much like Lizzie thinks I'm just mom nagging....so do we forget to listen to our heavenly father. Lizzie has learned a very hard lesson. I'm still praying the Ipod will work when she tries to turn it on tonight.
Lizzie is a very bright child.....to smart for her own good most days. Unfortunately since she's so smart, we tend to forget she really is only 11. My heart was quickly being convicted for yelling at her, yes, she does do her own laundry (all my girls do!) still....she is only 11, accidents do happen! I said to Ryan, frustrated that he had yelled at her also, should she REALLY know not to turn her IPOD on.....she is only 11!!! We are both guilty of thinking she is older than she really is because as the "baby" she constantly is trying to keep up with her older sisters....she is an awesome cook (yep...at only 11!) she does her own laundry, she's an excellent student, an awesome soccer player and she has a heart of gold. And yet her heart is broken that she may have ruined her own prized IPOD.
Lizzie just got her IPOD for Christmas. She LOVES it. She takes it everywhere with her and loves to add new songs to it. She just forgets to put it up, take it out of her sweatshirt pocket, last week she left it at school in the gym! It's not even that she's not appreciative of her things, she is....as a matter of fact, she's probably the most thankful child we have....not that the other two aren't thankful, Lizzie just really shows her appreciation to to others.
Now I'm torn....the Ipod is still sitting in rice, Lizzie was so heartbroken last night she sobbed for what seemed like hours. Her sisters each went and talked with her and were themselves sad when they saw how sad she truly was! She even asked me to come sing lullabies to her as she tried to get to sleep!.....and I DID!!!
The mom in me wants to just rush right out to walmart, buy her a new one and load all her music while she's at school! I know that's not the answer. I know this is a hard lesson that has to be learned in life. I know that this is one of those "this is why I tell you to put your things up" lessons in life. Man those stink. As moms we want to protect our children from moments like these in life.....and I tried. Unfortunately this is what happens when you don't listen to what your parents are trying to tell you.
What is someone trying to save you from right now and you feel as though your immune to the lesson? Our heavenly father tries daily to remind us to make him the ultimate teacher in our lives and yet much like Lizzie thinks I'm just mom nagging....so do we forget to listen to our heavenly father. Lizzie has learned a very hard lesson. I'm still praying the Ipod will work when she tries to turn it on tonight.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Life is Good
Ryan and I are looking at new Washers. Fun huh? We are the unfortunate owners of the Sears Kenmore Elite Calypso washer and dryer. There have been so many problems with this set that there was a class action suit against Sears that for some reason (I really can't remember) we decided not to get signed on for at the time....we're certainly wishing we had now...we've had the washer worked on so many times its not worth the price having it fixed again and had we joined this action, we'd have had it replaced with a new set for free.....what were we thinking??? At any rate, as we shopped online last night, I told Ryan I wanted an LG....now honestly, I really don't know anything about this brand and it looks just like the other sets....but their logo...LG, really stands for Life is Good. I want everything in my house to have the LG logo on it....so that no matter what we look at we are constantly reminded, LIFE IS GOOD!
I've had sick kiddos for three weeks now and by the end of last week it was really starting to get old! Colds, the flu, vomiting, sore throats, non working gall bladder, pulled muscle and crutches from cheer injury....I was sick of it! I finally sent my sore throats to school and told my crutches girlie that Friday was her last night on them...she was either walking or sitting on Saturday, but I was sick of looking at those crutches! And then......as I watched an episode of John and Kate +8....they were at St. Judes, I was quickly reminded how truly LIFE IS GOOD. My girls have been "sick"...but they haven't been fighting for their lives. They haven't had IV's with chemicals running through their veins to keep the cancer at bay....they don't have big machines with tubes breathing for them, while on crutches, they will certainly walk again and not have to relearn how to. LIFE IS GOOD.
Most people know I stress about schedules....I'm not really a spur of the moment kind of person. I'm sure that comes from years of traveling for work and having a family. While I can certainly leave in a pretty quick fashion, I still have to "plan" for things, like "who has what and when this week", what is Ryans work schedule....you know, logistics, who can get who where and when, will someone be able to pick everyone up type of things. We'll as I'm planning our day Saturday and trying to figure out a schedule for one of our daughters who isn't going to be with us....a friend is experiencing a tragedy in her family. WOW....in the midst of all she has going on, she's also worrying about my daughter and making sure she's not left alone when she could have had plans....I was sad that at this tough tough moment for her, she felt like she needed to worry about our daughter as well. Knowing what she was suddenly faced with, my schedule was nothing...I hit my knees praying for her and thanked god for the reminder "LIFE IS GOOD". Nothing I was worrying about at that moment could begin to compare.
As we sat in our flock group last night (small group at church) and I listened to the prayer requests, including our own for Allyson as we have a consult for her gall bladder surgery, I was still quietly and humbly reminded..."LIFE IS GOOD". Allyson will certainly recover, but I listened to things like our friends facing Alzheimer's progression with their mother, family strife of another, extreme sickness of a friend who has a brand new baby at home, long term recovery of a mom who is still in a drug induced coma, I humbly thanked god that our "LIFE IS GOOD"
Several weeks ago during church, Pastor Terry related a story of two friends, one of whom replied to any and all situations, "this is good". It was a great story. Our family has since adopted this saying and honestly have just realized that most things are truly out of our control and while we may not know why at the time, instead of stressing, we might as well adopt the attitude..."this is good". It really does help to keep my stress level down and even more importantly, it reminds me to just give it all to God and give all the glory to him.
It's Monday, do you already have a laundry list going for the week? Is the stress already mounting as you are faced with another week? It might be a little easier to face if you can simply remember, LIFE IS GOOD....and when it gets to be to much, just give it all to god.
Life is good.
I've had sick kiddos for three weeks now and by the end of last week it was really starting to get old! Colds, the flu, vomiting, sore throats, non working gall bladder, pulled muscle and crutches from cheer injury....I was sick of it! I finally sent my sore throats to school and told my crutches girlie that Friday was her last night on them...she was either walking or sitting on Saturday, but I was sick of looking at those crutches! And then......as I watched an episode of John and Kate +8....they were at St. Judes, I was quickly reminded how truly LIFE IS GOOD. My girls have been "sick"...but they haven't been fighting for their lives. They haven't had IV's with chemicals running through their veins to keep the cancer at bay....they don't have big machines with tubes breathing for them, while on crutches, they will certainly walk again and not have to relearn how to. LIFE IS GOOD.
Most people know I stress about schedules....I'm not really a spur of the moment kind of person. I'm sure that comes from years of traveling for work and having a family. While I can certainly leave in a pretty quick fashion, I still have to "plan" for things, like "who has what and when this week", what is Ryans work schedule....you know, logistics, who can get who where and when, will someone be able to pick everyone up type of things. We'll as I'm planning our day Saturday and trying to figure out a schedule for one of our daughters who isn't going to be with us....a friend is experiencing a tragedy in her family. WOW....in the midst of all she has going on, she's also worrying about my daughter and making sure she's not left alone when she could have had plans....I was sad that at this tough tough moment for her, she felt like she needed to worry about our daughter as well. Knowing what she was suddenly faced with, my schedule was nothing...I hit my knees praying for her and thanked god for the reminder "LIFE IS GOOD". Nothing I was worrying about at that moment could begin to compare.
As we sat in our flock group last night (small group at church) and I listened to the prayer requests, including our own for Allyson as we have a consult for her gall bladder surgery, I was still quietly and humbly reminded..."LIFE IS GOOD". Allyson will certainly recover, but I listened to things like our friends facing Alzheimer's progression with their mother, family strife of another, extreme sickness of a friend who has a brand new baby at home, long term recovery of a mom who is still in a drug induced coma, I humbly thanked god that our "LIFE IS GOOD"
Several weeks ago during church, Pastor Terry related a story of two friends, one of whom replied to any and all situations, "this is good". It was a great story. Our family has since adopted this saying and honestly have just realized that most things are truly out of our control and while we may not know why at the time, instead of stressing, we might as well adopt the attitude..."this is good". It really does help to keep my stress level down and even more importantly, it reminds me to just give it all to God and give all the glory to him.
It's Monday, do you already have a laundry list going for the week? Is the stress already mounting as you are faced with another week? It might be a little easier to face if you can simply remember, LIFE IS GOOD....and when it gets to be to much, just give it all to god.
Life is good.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Girlie blog!
Ok....so the blog page went kind of girlie today! I try to keep it neutral for Ryans sake...he is surrounded by girls, we joke he lives in a sorority house! (we even have a girl dog!) However, I stumbled across a blog background page and couldn't help myself. My family knows I decorate for EVERY holiday! There are hearts everywhere in this house right now....and I love it! Soooo....we'll try the girlie thing til V-day is over, the colors are kinda bright so we'll see how long I last, but it is fun! Simple pleasures in life! :P
Hope your day is simple and full of pleasure.
Hope your day is simple and full of pleasure.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Control Freak.......
I guess it could be said I'm kind of a control freak. Wow....that sounds harsh when said out loud (or in print!). But if I'm being honest....I do like being in control. Again....I've worked in management for a long time and also been a consultant....control!
Sooooo.....the last two weeks god has set out to remind me.....I AM NOT IN CONTROL! He is, and everything happens in his time, his way and I have to just sit back and wait for his answers.
Two weeks ago yesterday, Allyson (our oldest) started throwing up anything and everything she tries to consume. Today is day 15....and I'm feeling completely helpless as a mom. Ally missed 5 days of school, went back for one day and then got lucky that we had two snow days she was able to sleep and try to recoup. She literally can only eat dry toast at this point. She was able to eat white rice for a few days and then it started making her nauseous again too! We went to the Dr on day 3 and tried a reflux drug and anti nausea med. We have had an ultra sound of her gall bladder, another round of meds...and one more day of school....yep today made day 3 in the last 11 she's been to school! Luckily two snow days help also! So yesterday finally we had our last test....nuclear medicine test, took two hours and an IV (which she hates!) and first thing this morning the nurse called me with the GOOD (bad) news!!! Allysons ejection fractions from her gall bladder is only functioning at 4%!!!! OK....so what I just said was....when you eat a fatty meal, your gall bladder "squeezes" out bile to break down all the fatty foods you've just eaten, it's processed and moved on through the stomach....when its not "squeezing" your body gets sick from the fat and either gets rid of it (throw up!) or you just remain nauseous...yuck! Now....as Ryan and Alizabeth asked...why does it work if you remove it. WELL....as long as the gall bladder is in the body...the body tries to make it work and do its job....as soon as they remove it, the body realizes and starts over compensating for the loss and learns to break down fatty foods without it! I was in tears, so excited, thanking God that the answer to this all was surgery for my baby. Sounds crazy I know....but my biggest fear was this test would show nothing and we would be back to square one.
At one point last night I looked at Allyson and she was near tears! Although I knew...I asked what was wrong, she gave me the most pathetic look with tears in her eyes and said "I just want to eat!" I felt hopeless. I can't do anything to take this away, make it better or even minimize it really....she has had nothing but a few pieces of toast, some white rice some plain animal crackers and a boca burger for the last 15 days! OK...yes I said boca burger. So last night I finally looked at her and said....so eat! She wanted a boca burger...which of course made me chuckle...this poor kid hasn't eaten in two weeks and the only thing she can come up with is a SOY burger!!! :P So I said....go ahead and eat it! Whats the worse thing that will happen, you get sick...oh well, everything makes you sick, you could enjoy it for just a few minutes if nothing else! So....she did have the boca burger...and 12 minutes later returned from having thrown it all up in the bathroom!!! :( She couldn't keep food down for a mere 15 minutes.)
We have an appointment next Tuesday, Jan 27 for a consult with a local surgeon. I'm mom, so of course I'm hoping by next Friday we can have this thing out....we'll see how soon they can get her in. She's not happy at all about surgery and is pretty scared actually, but so ready to eat she's happy for the outcome.
In the midst of all of this, Allysa and Alizabeth have both had colds and missed a few days of school, Ryan pulled a muscle in his neck/back and missed a day of work. AND if that's not enough, Allysa called me tonight, during warm-ups before the bball game tonight, girls who do not usually base her in cheer dropped her out of a stunt and she landed square on her hip and hurt her knee also. NO....I'm not kidding! She is now on crutches and hopping around or being carried by big papa!
Again though, I was SO thankful to God today....as crazy as it all seems and in such a different manner than most would think....he really did answer our prayers and provide a solution. GOD IS GOOD.
When I opened my bible to find scripture to add......I literally opened to the story of the Canaanite Woman. A woman was so desperate for her sick child that she risked her life, a Canaanites speaking to a Jew....longtime enemies.
Then Jesus answered, "Woman you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour. Matthew 15:28
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Trying to control these situations really did me no good, I know God has a plan, sometimes I just think I'll help him out! I laid it at the feet of the lord and he answered resoundingly.
What do you need to give to god? He answers prayers, not always in the way we think, but knowing Allyson needs to have this surgery was answered prayer.
Sooooo.....the last two weeks god has set out to remind me.....I AM NOT IN CONTROL! He is, and everything happens in his time, his way and I have to just sit back and wait for his answers.
Two weeks ago yesterday, Allyson (our oldest) started throwing up anything and everything she tries to consume. Today is day 15....and I'm feeling completely helpless as a mom. Ally missed 5 days of school, went back for one day and then got lucky that we had two snow days she was able to sleep and try to recoup. She literally can only eat dry toast at this point. She was able to eat white rice for a few days and then it started making her nauseous again too! We went to the Dr on day 3 and tried a reflux drug and anti nausea med. We have had an ultra sound of her gall bladder, another round of meds...and one more day of school....yep today made day 3 in the last 11 she's been to school! Luckily two snow days help also! So yesterday finally we had our last test....nuclear medicine test, took two hours and an IV (which she hates!) and first thing this morning the nurse called me with the GOOD (bad) news!!! Allysons ejection fractions from her gall bladder is only functioning at 4%!!!! OK....so what I just said was....when you eat a fatty meal, your gall bladder "squeezes" out bile to break down all the fatty foods you've just eaten, it's processed and moved on through the stomach....when its not "squeezing" your body gets sick from the fat and either gets rid of it (throw up!) or you just remain nauseous...yuck! Now....as Ryan and Alizabeth asked...why does it work if you remove it. WELL....as long as the gall bladder is in the body...the body tries to make it work and do its job....as soon as they remove it, the body realizes and starts over compensating for the loss and learns to break down fatty foods without it! I was in tears, so excited, thanking God that the answer to this all was surgery for my baby. Sounds crazy I know....but my biggest fear was this test would show nothing and we would be back to square one.
At one point last night I looked at Allyson and she was near tears! Although I knew...I asked what was wrong, she gave me the most pathetic look with tears in her eyes and said "I just want to eat!" I felt hopeless. I can't do anything to take this away, make it better or even minimize it really....she has had nothing but a few pieces of toast, some white rice some plain animal crackers and a boca burger for the last 15 days! OK...yes I said boca burger. So last night I finally looked at her and said....so eat! She wanted a boca burger...which of course made me chuckle...this poor kid hasn't eaten in two weeks and the only thing she can come up with is a SOY burger!!! :P So I said....go ahead and eat it! Whats the worse thing that will happen, you get sick...oh well, everything makes you sick, you could enjoy it for just a few minutes if nothing else! So....she did have the boca burger...and 12 minutes later returned from having thrown it all up in the bathroom!!! :( She couldn't keep food down for a mere 15 minutes.)
We have an appointment next Tuesday, Jan 27 for a consult with a local surgeon. I'm mom, so of course I'm hoping by next Friday we can have this thing out....we'll see how soon they can get her in. She's not happy at all about surgery and is pretty scared actually, but so ready to eat she's happy for the outcome.
In the midst of all of this, Allysa and Alizabeth have both had colds and missed a few days of school, Ryan pulled a muscle in his neck/back and missed a day of work. AND if that's not enough, Allysa called me tonight, during warm-ups before the bball game tonight, girls who do not usually base her in cheer dropped her out of a stunt and she landed square on her hip and hurt her knee also. NO....I'm not kidding! She is now on crutches and hopping around or being carried by big papa!
Again though, I was SO thankful to God today....as crazy as it all seems and in such a different manner than most would think....he really did answer our prayers and provide a solution. GOD IS GOOD.
When I opened my bible to find scripture to add......I literally opened to the story of the Canaanite Woman. A woman was so desperate for her sick child that she risked her life, a Canaanites speaking to a Jew....longtime enemies.
Then Jesus answered, "Woman you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour. Matthew 15:28
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Trying to control these situations really did me no good, I know God has a plan, sometimes I just think I'll help him out! I laid it at the feet of the lord and he answered resoundingly.
What do you need to give to god? He answers prayers, not always in the way we think, but knowing Allyson needs to have this surgery was answered prayer.
Monday, January 19, 2009
My perfect scheduled life......HAAAHAAA!
Are you an early person or a late person? I am an early person...as a matter of fact I can't STAND being late!!! It literally gives me a panic attack, OK, probably not, but that's what if feels like to me. Honestly, I get panicked, nervous, tense and then just plain ticked off. I think its incredibly insensitive to be late to events. In my mind, if I'm late, it screams that I don't have any respect or regard for the person or organization holding the event.
I'm not even really sure where this OCD about time came from. My parent's were both timely people...the type of people who felt like they were late if they weren't at work a half an hour early every day, literally. They never really made a big deal of it, I don't even ever remember them talking about it, we were just always early or on time for everything we did.....and I like it that way!
I have a dear friend who is perpetually late for everything (and if she's reading my blog she knows who she is and that I love her eternally!) and it stresses me to no end.....that she's late! Now...honestly, why do I care if she's late? Well, a lot of times, she has one of my daughters with her so when she and the girls were 20 min late for the Jr. High Camp weekend and the bus was literally waiting on them to leave....it stressed me to anger. OK....so that was a big deal...making a load of others wait....that's a bit much. It's not usually like that. But...as I write, here I am tonight waiting on my daughter who led me to believe she'd be home by 5ish tonight after a shopping trip with this friend, it's almost 8pm. Mind you, my friend has already called me and apologized (she knows I stress about time!) and I know she never means to be late, and honestly....WE HAVE NOTHING GOING ON.....so why does this stress me out????? I have NO idea! I truly am OCD about this.
Ryan isn't necessarily the timeliest person on earth....again, not someone who intends to be late, just doesn't really stress over getting anywhere. Church mornings used to be a big stresser for me.....they've all figured that out and after lots of rough mornings, its all worked itself out! (we go to a later service!!!) I like being early to ballgames so I get the seat I want....my friends know I'm early so they call me to save them seats! I like being at sales early to get the items I'm seeking and yes, you guessed it, I am definitely a 4am morning after thanksgiving shopper. Mind you...I'm not a morning person, but I will definitely get up to save money. If a gathering, holiday party, etc says 7 to ?, I want to be there at 5 min til 7....that's what I think is polite!
I have no idea why I am so OCD about this. When we are "late" in my eyes....nothing happens, everything ends up fine, and I calm down, but I am so frustrated by the time we do get there that it takes me a while to relax. So whats the solution? I certainly don't see my self relaxing enough to be late to places, nor do I think that is the solution. I would however like to come to the realization that things do happen and it isn't the end of the world to be later than planned. I know my girlfriend never "plans" on being late for anything...nobody does, well....except those who've convinced themselves its fashionable to be late! So why does it stress me out so? It's something I'm working on this year, praying diligently about the solution, knowing that god will provide the answer......lets just hope he's on time with it!!!! haaahaaa
So what is your stresser? Are you OCD about it like I am.....and for no real reason? Give it to god and see what his plan is for the issue.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7.
I'm not even really sure where this OCD about time came from. My parent's were both timely people...the type of people who felt like they were late if they weren't at work a half an hour early every day, literally. They never really made a big deal of it, I don't even ever remember them talking about it, we were just always early or on time for everything we did.....and I like it that way!
I have a dear friend who is perpetually late for everything (and if she's reading my blog she knows who she is and that I love her eternally!) and it stresses me to no end.....that she's late! Now...honestly, why do I care if she's late? Well, a lot of times, she has one of my daughters with her so when she and the girls were 20 min late for the Jr. High Camp weekend and the bus was literally waiting on them to leave....it stressed me to anger. OK....so that was a big deal...making a load of others wait....that's a bit much. It's not usually like that. But...as I write, here I am tonight waiting on my daughter who led me to believe she'd be home by 5ish tonight after a shopping trip with this friend, it's almost 8pm. Mind you, my friend has already called me and apologized (she knows I stress about time!) and I know she never means to be late, and honestly....WE HAVE NOTHING GOING ON.....so why does this stress me out????? I have NO idea! I truly am OCD about this.
Ryan isn't necessarily the timeliest person on earth....again, not someone who intends to be late, just doesn't really stress over getting anywhere. Church mornings used to be a big stresser for me.....they've all figured that out and after lots of rough mornings, its all worked itself out! (we go to a later service!!!) I like being early to ballgames so I get the seat I want....my friends know I'm early so they call me to save them seats! I like being at sales early to get the items I'm seeking and yes, you guessed it, I am definitely a 4am morning after thanksgiving shopper. Mind you...I'm not a morning person, but I will definitely get up to save money. If a gathering, holiday party, etc says 7 to ?, I want to be there at 5 min til 7....that's what I think is polite!
I have no idea why I am so OCD about this. When we are "late" in my eyes....nothing happens, everything ends up fine, and I calm down, but I am so frustrated by the time we do get there that it takes me a while to relax. So whats the solution? I certainly don't see my self relaxing enough to be late to places, nor do I think that is the solution. I would however like to come to the realization that things do happen and it isn't the end of the world to be later than planned. I know my girlfriend never "plans" on being late for anything...nobody does, well....except those who've convinced themselves its fashionable to be late! So why does it stress me out so? It's something I'm working on this year, praying diligently about the solution, knowing that god will provide the answer......lets just hope he's on time with it!!!! haaahaaa
So what is your stresser? Are you OCD about it like I am.....and for no real reason? Give it to god and see what his plan is for the issue.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
House of Laughter, house of love
It seems as though we've been on a mini break again this week. We had a two hour delay Wednesday and were out Thursday and Friday. The girls have of course LOVED the time out of school, and I always welcome the company for my day. I do tend to get nothing done when they're home though....but that's OK!
We've watched a lot of movies, some good, some disgusting!
Allysa and I went shopping for her dress for the Winter Formal on Thursday....I've attached a picture, let me just say the theme is Vegas....and as soon as she saw this dress she screamed THAT says Vegas!!!
Poor Ally was sick the whole time so that was no fun for her, but it was comforting for her to be home not technically missing anymore days of school! Both older girls had Dr's appointments this week and it was nice to not have to take them out of school to do that...although I'm definitely not a parent who requests after school appointments, we go when its available and aren't picky!
Hannah and Allysa had an adventure to BW3 on Thursday night and had some good times! They went to the movie last night to see Mall Cop....Allysa LOVED it, Hannah said it was "stupid" a word we all know makes mommy freak out! Hannah spent the night again last night and the girls were laughing until late into the night as Hannah was sure someone broke into our house....it was of course Ally coming home from Kylee's house! Note I didn't say Han and Lys did anything about the burglar....on the contrary, Hannah jumped into bed with Allysa scared and they both hid under the covers!!!! Nice security system we've got huh? We got a good laugh out of that this morning. Ally went to hang out with her Bestie Kylee for a bit and life was good.
Today was the Cougar Classic 8th Grade Boys Basketball tournament at Northridge and Allysa and Hannah both had to cheer. It was a little rough when the alarm went off at 6:32 this morning....first time we'd heard that since Tuesday! Both girls we're up looking fabulous and on time by 8:30 at school. Cougars did an awesome job and won the first game by 40ish points~! Lizzie and Papa made it for the game....Ally wasn't ready to wake up from break yet! In between games Lys had gymnastics so Hannah and I sat and watched that before we all rushed back for the championship game where the Cougars met their match....defeated ultimately by 5.
Tonight Lizzie had hoped to have a friend spend the night. It didn't work out this time, but we'll try again soon. She's baking us cupcakes as I write.....I'll be getting one of those before the night is done!
Joey came over for movies and its been laughter all night long. I love nights where we're all just home and together. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to get them out of my hair occasionally, but most days I say the more the merrier. I love my kids, I love their friends, and I love having them all here. There is never a dull moment and I know where they are and that they are safe.
We are definitely a house of laughter....we laugh at each other all the time! We are the first people to make fun of each other, but always in love. If you can't laugh at yourself....who can you laugh at??? We are also first and foremost, a house of love. The girls know if we say no....there's a reason, and mostly its because we love them. They may not be happy in the beginning....but they know ultimately they are loved.
What makes you laugh? Laughter means love in our house. What is your source of love and laughter?
We've watched a lot of movies, some good, some disgusting!
Allysa and I went shopping for her dress for the Winter Formal on Thursday....I've attached a picture, let me just say the theme is Vegas....and as soon as she saw this dress she screamed THAT says Vegas!!!
Poor Ally was sick the whole time so that was no fun for her, but it was comforting for her to be home not technically missing anymore days of school! Both older girls had Dr's appointments this week and it was nice to not have to take them out of school to do that...although I'm definitely not a parent who requests after school appointments, we go when its available and aren't picky!
Hannah and Allysa had an adventure to BW3 on Thursday night and had some good times! They went to the movie last night to see Mall Cop....Allysa LOVED it, Hannah said it was "stupid" a word we all know makes mommy freak out! Hannah spent the night again last night and the girls were laughing until late into the night as Hannah was sure someone broke into our house....it was of course Ally coming home from Kylee's house! Note I didn't say Han and Lys did anything about the burglar....on the contrary, Hannah jumped into bed with Allysa scared and they both hid under the covers!!!! Nice security system we've got huh? We got a good laugh out of that this morning. Ally went to hang out with her Bestie Kylee for a bit and life was good.
Today was the Cougar Classic 8th Grade Boys Basketball tournament at Northridge and Allysa and Hannah both had to cheer. It was a little rough when the alarm went off at 6:32 this morning....first time we'd heard that since Tuesday! Both girls we're up looking fabulous and on time by 8:30 at school. Cougars did an awesome job and won the first game by 40ish points~! Lizzie and Papa made it for the game....Ally wasn't ready to wake up from break yet! In between games Lys had gymnastics so Hannah and I sat and watched that before we all rushed back for the championship game where the Cougars met their match....defeated ultimately by 5.
Tonight Lizzie had hoped to have a friend spend the night. It didn't work out this time, but we'll try again soon. She's baking us cupcakes as I write.....I'll be getting one of those before the night is done!
Joey came over for movies and its been laughter all night long. I love nights where we're all just home and together. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to get them out of my hair occasionally, but most days I say the more the merrier. I love my kids, I love their friends, and I love having them all here. There is never a dull moment and I know where they are and that they are safe.
We are definitely a house of laughter....we laugh at each other all the time! We are the first people to make fun of each other, but always in love. If you can't laugh at yourself....who can you laugh at??? We are also first and foremost, a house of love. The girls know if we say no....there's a reason, and mostly its because we love them. They may not be happy in the beginning....but they know ultimately they are loved.
What makes you laugh? Laughter means love in our house. What is your source of love and laughter?
Friday, January 16, 2009
Sick of being Sick................
To tired to blog. Our week was full of dr's visits and trips to the hospital. Ally is having problems keeping anything more than dry toast and white rice down, she had an ultrasound on Wednesday of her gall bladder and will have a hydascan next week to see if it is functioning at all. Allysa saw the Dr. today and was checked for diabetes, thryroid issues and anemia. We should know early next week if anything significant comes of those tests. It stresses me when my kids are sick. I can't do anything about it. I'm the mom, I'm supposed to fix all their booboos.....and yet at moments like these I have to just leave it all in the dr's hands and of course ultimately in gods hands, he is the ultimate healer.
Maybe once everyone is back in their routine, and back to school....(it feels like we've been on break again!) I'll get my mojo back....til then, stay warm.
Maybe once everyone is back in their routine, and back to school....(it feels like we've been on break again!) I'll get my mojo back....til then, stay warm.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Judge not.....
Why do we insist on judging people in life? It might not be intentional, and you might not even realize you are judging, but when you just automatically decide you do or don't like someone based on their name, their age, their parents or their address.....you are judging them unfairly.
There is a boy who likes one of our daughters. He's older than her and due to his age Ryan is hearing nothing of it. The problem is, I've gotten past the age, gotten to know this boy, asked plenty of responsible adults about him, talked with coaches about him, he is a good kid that is very well thought of by all those I've talked to. I'm told he comes from a really nice family. He's an athlete, never been in trouble, is very polite and just an all around nice boy. He also happens to be the same age as a boy this same daughter dated for quite some time.....so whats the problem???? Well the other boy was closer to her grade than this new boy is, so Ryan won't even get to know him. I also happen to know there are several boys in her own grade that I wouldn't even consider letting her walk through our front door, they are mouthy, inconsiderate and hang around with not so nice people....but with his rationale, it would be fine because they are her age. Whats really sad to me is Ryan is so stuck in his thinking, he won't even give this boy a chance. He's missing out on getting to know a really great charger athlete. He's missing out on part of his daughters life because she won't even mention this boys name around him for the most part.....and its not because she's not talking to the boy....it's because she's not sharing this part of her life with him because he acts so impossible when this name is mentioned. He's acting like a child pouting because he's not getting his way. And then of course, I'm the bad parent because I would even entertain this situation. I've allowed the texting, the phone calls, I've allowed him to come over....where, I might add...he was in my sight the entire time! Again, polite, makes conversation, thanks me for feeding him, he's a nice kid.
I'm not really sure where I'll get on this situation with Papa.....but I really wish he could see how his judging others is affecting his life....his attitude towards a generally great kid, his relationship with his daughter, with his wife, the way his other daughters are seeing him act so perhaps they too will shelter portions of their life from him.
This situation also really made me think and wonder if their are people in my life that I'm judging, things that I'm not doing or people I'm not getting to know because of preconceived notions. I'll be praying about this for a while I'm sure.
Are their people or situations in your life you are judging? The bible tells us to judge not, lest ye be judged. If only living biblical was as easy as judging others.
There is a boy who likes one of our daughters. He's older than her and due to his age Ryan is hearing nothing of it. The problem is, I've gotten past the age, gotten to know this boy, asked plenty of responsible adults about him, talked with coaches about him, he is a good kid that is very well thought of by all those I've talked to. I'm told he comes from a really nice family. He's an athlete, never been in trouble, is very polite and just an all around nice boy. He also happens to be the same age as a boy this same daughter dated for quite some time.....so whats the problem???? Well the other boy was closer to her grade than this new boy is, so Ryan won't even get to know him. I also happen to know there are several boys in her own grade that I wouldn't even consider letting her walk through our front door, they are mouthy, inconsiderate and hang around with not so nice people....but with his rationale, it would be fine because they are her age. Whats really sad to me is Ryan is so stuck in his thinking, he won't even give this boy a chance. He's missing out on getting to know a really great charger athlete. He's missing out on part of his daughters life because she won't even mention this boys name around him for the most part.....and its not because she's not talking to the boy....it's because she's not sharing this part of her life with him because he acts so impossible when this name is mentioned. He's acting like a child pouting because he's not getting his way. And then of course, I'm the bad parent because I would even entertain this situation. I've allowed the texting, the phone calls, I've allowed him to come over....where, I might add...he was in my sight the entire time! Again, polite, makes conversation, thanks me for feeding him, he's a nice kid.
I'm not really sure where I'll get on this situation with Papa.....but I really wish he could see how his judging others is affecting his life....his attitude towards a generally great kid, his relationship with his daughter, with his wife, the way his other daughters are seeing him act so perhaps they too will shelter portions of their life from him.
This situation also really made me think and wonder if their are people in my life that I'm judging, things that I'm not doing or people I'm not getting to know because of preconceived notions. I'll be praying about this for a while I'm sure.
Are their people or situations in your life you are judging? The bible tells us to judge not, lest ye be judged. If only living biblical was as easy as judging others.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Life Happens
Today was one of those days.....well at least if your a parent, you'll understand what I'm talking about. Lizzie had to cheer at a future Chargers game this morning at 9am, so we were all up at 7:30 getting ready. After future Chargers, Allysa had gymnastics.....she belongs to a club in Lafayette so that was a bit of a slippery drive today. After that we went dress shopping, the Winter Formal is coming up for Northridge so we are on the lookout for that "perfect" dress! Of course Prom is only a few months away for Allyson so we picked up several Prom magazines for her from the dress shops as well. In the mean time while we were at gymnastics, Ryan went to South for the JV portion of The Sugar Creek Classic and kept stats. We all made it home by around 4pm for a couple of hours home before heading back out to South for the final game of the Sugar Creek Classic, again for Ryan to keep stats, Allyson is a manager for basketball and Allysa babysits some coaches kids during the game so adults can try and concentrate on the game! We finally got home about 9:55 tonight after an entirely full day of running from one kid event to the next.....and I wouldn't have it any other way!
I love being entirely active with my kids lives. Don't get me wrong, I do have my own life also, I love my flock group from church, I love having lunch with my girlfriends and I'm always up for a quick trip to the scrapbook store with the girls, but I LOVE being busy with kid things!!! I love being room mom for Lizzie's class, as I see my older girls now in high school and middle school, its really cool to have seen all of these kids grow up.
From the time I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a mom. I babysat all the time once I was old enough and I worked in pediatrics when I first became a dental assistant. Most people know I became a mom at a way to young age, and while I certainly don't advocate it for anyone, I have been more than blessed to make it work, most girls aren't as fortunate as I've been. I love being a mom. I would have another child tomorrow if my girls and Ryan would only give in!!! NO MOM...they are all yelling right now! I have always said I would be more than willing to be a surrogate for someone because I can't imagine not knowing the joy of having kids. I would love to be foster parents and help older kids who are usually harder to place. Get the common theme.....I love kids.
So while I say....."it was one of those days!" I mean it was one of those, crazy scheduled, every kid we have had something, both parents going multiple directions.....and LOVING every minute of it kind of day!
What kind of day did you have?
I love being entirely active with my kids lives. Don't get me wrong, I do have my own life also, I love my flock group from church, I love having lunch with my girlfriends and I'm always up for a quick trip to the scrapbook store with the girls, but I LOVE being busy with kid things!!! I love being room mom for Lizzie's class, as I see my older girls now in high school and middle school, its really cool to have seen all of these kids grow up.
From the time I was a little girl, I always wanted to be a mom. I babysat all the time once I was old enough and I worked in pediatrics when I first became a dental assistant. Most people know I became a mom at a way to young age, and while I certainly don't advocate it for anyone, I have been more than blessed to make it work, most girls aren't as fortunate as I've been. I love being a mom. I would have another child tomorrow if my girls and Ryan would only give in!!! NO MOM...they are all yelling right now! I have always said I would be more than willing to be a surrogate for someone because I can't imagine not knowing the joy of having kids. I would love to be foster parents and help older kids who are usually harder to place. Get the common theme.....I love kids.
So while I say....."it was one of those days!" I mean it was one of those, crazy scheduled, every kid we have had something, both parents going multiple directions.....and LOVING every minute of it kind of day!
What kind of day did you have?
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Old Dog.....no new tricks
We are a dog family......3 dogs. Two chocolate labs, and a long haired dachshund. Birdie is our first and oldest lab, she's our pound puppy. Bogey is our 3 year old lab and we call him the smartst dumb dog we know.....sweet lovable boy who is 90lbs of sheer puppy! Bear is our youngest guy, he's a 2 year old with an attitude, he loves our family of 5...but no one else!
During Winter Break, the girls and I went to see Marley and Me. Great movie, however I should warn you, if you've not seen it........SAD ending! As we are watching this movie play out and can hear the entire theater sniffing through tears, I'm thinking to myself, this was not the greatest of movies to bring three girls with a very aged Lab at home! Best laid plans :( Little did I know how poignant that would be.
So.....Birdie has been coughing a lot lately and we'd constantly joked that she thinks she's a cat....coughing up fur balls all the time. She kept getting worse though so Ryan and I finally decided we should call the vet, both thinking we'd feel terrible if there was really something wrong and we'd ignored it. Well, it turns out our old girl has cardiomyopathy, or an enlarged heart. Really enlarged. Our vet showed me her xrays and I was shocked....(not that I know what size a dogs heart is supposed to be....but it was really big!) She also already has fluid build up in her lung, causing her to breath extra hard and also causing her heart to race. Long way to say.....our girls not gonna be with us much longer. WOW......we thought she acted like a cat, and she has a heart problem. I was comforted that Mary Lou told me big dogs have a shorter life span....typically 10-14 years, and for labs usually around 12 years, our sweet girl will be 12 in may and it doesn't sound like she's gonna make it to her birthday. Ryan was so worried when I txted him "cardiomyopathy....need an xray and EKG" that he showed up at the vets office just to hang with our girl while we waited. The xray showed such an enlargement there was no need for the EKG. Ryan mustered the courage to ask what we do and what this means for birdie. Marylou put her on a diuretic to get some fluid off of her lungs which will hopefully calm her heart rate down. However, the sad news is that this is all really just a comfort measure for Birdie. Dogs with cardiomyopathy typically only live a few months. There it was.....the time frame. Ryan was heartbroken. At some point I asked Marylou if we needed to prepare our girls and she said that was definitely a conversation we should have....sooner rather than later. It was like a blow to the heart. She's our sweet birdie girl.....she's one of the family. No, not that we thought she was gonna live forever....OK well actually Allysa says Birdie IS going to live forever, but it seems like just yesterday we found her at the Animal Welfare League. She's the first dog we owned, shes the most behaved dog we own. She's the mama of the bunch, she looks at Bogey as though he's the big goof that he is and she lets bear run all over her, chew on her ears and just generally play like the complete puppy he is.
One by one I talked with the girls last night, they all knew she was going to the vet so they each asked about her appointment as they saw me. I very cautiously told everyone we were keeping her comfortable and happy, but most likely we won't have Birdie for her 12th birthday. Needless to say they were all very sad, Allyson however took it the worst (as we assumed would be the case.) As one point Ally was laying on the floor with birdie, rubbing her belly and wiping away her own tears at the same time.....it was heartbreaking. Lizzie said "who thought you could die from having too big of a heart, the grinches heart was two sizes to small!" WOW.
Birdie will be the first pet we've lost. Luckily not the first loss my girls have experienced as in the past few years we've lost several family members, grandparents included. I still expect this will be like losing a member of our family.....she's our youngest child.
So, god gave us a plan, I definitely think it was all a god thing deciding to take her to the vet, it was his way of preparing us for the inevitable. His way of making sure we didn't just find her one morning and not have had any idea this was coming. He is just and fair god and he has allowed us to prepare our kids for sucha time as this.
What is god trying to prepare you for? Will the message come in a movie, in an email or in your daily devotional? Pray daily for an open heart an open ears to receive messages such as this. God is good.
During Winter Break, the girls and I went to see Marley and Me. Great movie, however I should warn you, if you've not seen it........SAD ending! As we are watching this movie play out and can hear the entire theater sniffing through tears, I'm thinking to myself, this was not the greatest of movies to bring three girls with a very aged Lab at home! Best laid plans :( Little did I know how poignant that would be.
So.....Birdie has been coughing a lot lately and we'd constantly joked that she thinks she's a cat....coughing up fur balls all the time. She kept getting worse though so Ryan and I finally decided we should call the vet, both thinking we'd feel terrible if there was really something wrong and we'd ignored it. Well, it turns out our old girl has cardiomyopathy, or an enlarged heart. Really enlarged. Our vet showed me her xrays and I was shocked....(not that I know what size a dogs heart is supposed to be....but it was really big!) She also already has fluid build up in her lung, causing her to breath extra hard and also causing her heart to race. Long way to say.....our girls not gonna be with us much longer. WOW......we thought she acted like a cat, and she has a heart problem. I was comforted that Mary Lou told me big dogs have a shorter life span....typically 10-14 years, and for labs usually around 12 years, our sweet girl will be 12 in may and it doesn't sound like she's gonna make it to her birthday. Ryan was so worried when I txted him "cardiomyopathy....need an xray and EKG" that he showed up at the vets office just to hang with our girl while we waited. The xray showed such an enlargement there was no need for the EKG. Ryan mustered the courage to ask what we do and what this means for birdie. Marylou put her on a diuretic to get some fluid off of her lungs which will hopefully calm her heart rate down. However, the sad news is that this is all really just a comfort measure for Birdie. Dogs with cardiomyopathy typically only live a few months. There it was.....the time frame. Ryan was heartbroken. At some point I asked Marylou if we needed to prepare our girls and she said that was definitely a conversation we should have....sooner rather than later. It was like a blow to the heart. She's our sweet birdie girl.....she's one of the family. No, not that we thought she was gonna live forever....OK well actually Allysa says Birdie IS going to live forever, but it seems like just yesterday we found her at the Animal Welfare League. She's the first dog we owned, shes the most behaved dog we own. She's the mama of the bunch, she looks at Bogey as though he's the big goof that he is and she lets bear run all over her, chew on her ears and just generally play like the complete puppy he is.
One by one I talked with the girls last night, they all knew she was going to the vet so they each asked about her appointment as they saw me. I very cautiously told everyone we were keeping her comfortable and happy, but most likely we won't have Birdie for her 12th birthday. Needless to say they were all very sad, Allyson however took it the worst (as we assumed would be the case.) As one point Ally was laying on the floor with birdie, rubbing her belly and wiping away her own tears at the same time.....it was heartbreaking. Lizzie said "who thought you could die from having too big of a heart, the grinches heart was two sizes to small!" WOW.
Birdie will be the first pet we've lost. Luckily not the first loss my girls have experienced as in the past few years we've lost several family members, grandparents included. I still expect this will be like losing a member of our family.....she's our youngest child.
So, god gave us a plan, I definitely think it was all a god thing deciding to take her to the vet, it was his way of preparing us for the inevitable. His way of making sure we didn't just find her one morning and not have had any idea this was coming. He is just and fair god and he has allowed us to prepare our kids for sucha time as this.
What is god trying to prepare you for? Will the message come in a movie, in an email or in your daily devotional? Pray daily for an open heart an open ears to receive messages such as this. God is good.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Living the righteous life is hard.......
So, I can think of nowhere in the bible that it tells me being the good and faithful servant was gonna be easy. As a matter of fact, I can think of several instances in the bible where you had to be faithful for a long long time......but the rewards were great. So why is it I'm surprised when my week has been so difficult the instant I feel so challenged to be the submissive wife.
Honestly.......I love my husband, I do.....but he really knows how to push my buttons! I'm sure I push his in my own time also, but he hasn't just publicly professed to work hard towards submissiveness!!! It's always the little things too. I really wish it was as simple as coming to the point of realization....you know,the point where I said.....I know I need to submit to husband just as he submits to Christ.....and voila! I'm submissive.
OK, so I know in the real world this doesn't happen, but it really would be nice. We are such a world of instant gratification, and its not that I don't want to have to work for the goal.....I just don't want to feel sabotaged along the way.
I already know in my mind it's gonna be hard. I'm not wired to be a follower.....leader all the way. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for team work......but guess who wants to be the teamleader! Couple that with the fact that I've worked in management for several years and have also been a consultant (you know, the person they hire to tell you how to get things done right!) for the past several years and it's stress waiting to happen! Add to all of this that I am now staying home with the girls and because of being downsized I feel like I'm not home on my own terms. I don't feel like I'm contributing to our family.....at least not in the same manor that I'm accustomed to. Don't get me wrong.... I LOVE being home, it is pure joy to me taking my kids to school, picking them up after.....runs to school for misc things throughout the day.....these things really do thrill me, again, it just didn't happen on my terms. So this week, I'm trying to adjust to kids being back to school.....feeling like I'm not contributing, AND struggling with submissiveness. God....help me. I know you will, and I know I have to just be faithful always and the blessings will come in your time and your way.
I guess I'm just gonna have to pray hard along the way because its painfully clear it is not gonna be easy.
What do you need to pray about to attain your reward? Sometimes the easiest thing to do is the one most forgotten.....praying diligently.
Honestly.......I love my husband, I do.....but he really knows how to push my buttons! I'm sure I push his in my own time also, but he hasn't just publicly professed to work hard towards submissiveness!!! It's always the little things too. I really wish it was as simple as coming to the point of realization....you know,the point where I said.....I know I need to submit to husband just as he submits to Christ.....and voila! I'm submissive.
OK, so I know in the real world this doesn't happen, but it really would be nice. We are such a world of instant gratification, and its not that I don't want to have to work for the goal.....I just don't want to feel sabotaged along the way.
I already know in my mind it's gonna be hard. I'm not wired to be a follower.....leader all the way. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for team work......but guess who wants to be the teamleader! Couple that with the fact that I've worked in management for several years and have also been a consultant (you know, the person they hire to tell you how to get things done right!) for the past several years and it's stress waiting to happen! Add to all of this that I am now staying home with the girls and because of being downsized I feel like I'm not home on my own terms. I don't feel like I'm contributing to our family.....at least not in the same manor that I'm accustomed to. Don't get me wrong.... I LOVE being home, it is pure joy to me taking my kids to school, picking them up after.....runs to school for misc things throughout the day.....these things really do thrill me, again, it just didn't happen on my terms. So this week, I'm trying to adjust to kids being back to school.....feeling like I'm not contributing, AND struggling with submissiveness. God....help me. I know you will, and I know I have to just be faithful always and the blessings will come in your time and your way.
I guess I'm just gonna have to pray hard along the way because its painfully clear it is not gonna be easy.
What do you need to pray about to attain your reward? Sometimes the easiest thing to do is the one most forgotten.....praying diligently.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Wives submit to your husbands.....
During church today Pastor Phil gave the sermon. First let me say that Pastor Phil is normally our worship leader and I LOVE his worship services! He's got an incredible voice and keeps our worship team current and rockin! I am always moved by his "message". Today however, Pastor Jeff led worship (he's our youth pastor!) and Pastor Phil gave the message, Pastor Terry, our head Pastor was in the house but as a parishioner today......he did give funny color commentary through out the whole thing though, it was quite a show today! God was so present though, it was awesome!!!
Part of today's message addressed men being the head of their households. Of course this was a funny moment as there were jokes back and forth about "men you ARE the head of your households!" right???.....another pastor joked "yep, I asked my wife and she said I was!" He really impressed upon the men and weighed heavy that the bible directs them to be the heads of their households and talked about how men act can directly affect how their family acts. If your kids see you make ungodly decisions in your life, they to will grow up to make ungodly decisions and it falls on your shoulders as the head of your family. This was very convicting to me. I've really tried in the past year to "submit to my husband" as the bible directs. I REALLY want to do as directed. I really want Ryan to be the head of our household and our family to follow his lead...not only the girls, but myself included. Ryan has really taken this on in the last year, not that he's not always been "in charge" but he's really taken the biblical meaning of it all and worked to give the girls that direction. So.....why is it so hard for ME to submit????? My husband is a very smart man, he's funny, and very loving. He spoils me and surprises me often. It's not him....it's ME. I am a headstrong woman. I'm not a feminist by any stretch of the imagination. I just forget to "submit"! While I love family, I am ridiculously independent. The girls ask if they can do something......and typically I just answer. It really never occurs to me to say "go ask papa" unless its life altering! When Ryan does act as the head of our household....and we disagree on things, I feel as though my parenting skills are under fire while honestly I really know that we are just two very different people with very different ways of parenting. I'm pretty easy going, Ryan is very strict, partly I believe because we have all girls.....he's now a dad who remembers what it was like to be a 14 year old boy, I constantly have to remind him that he needs to quit thinking all boys act badly, he constantly tells me I need to start thinking all boys do act badly! In the long run, I think I could certainly be more strict and he too could be more lenient. But again, if I am to submit as the Bible directs, I need to work on this!
Bottom line, we both want to live godly lives. We pray daily asking god to help us become more like him and to make us be better examples to others in living for him. In doing so, I will now also be praying daily for gods help for Ryan as he works to be the leader of our household, and for myself to willingly submit to my husband, just as he willingly submits to god.
Pastor Phil really inspired me today, got me energized, convicted me and opened my eyes to the things I've not been doing in my life for Christ. 2009 is full of promise and is our year to make choices.
What do you want chasing you this year? I'm praying for blessings and choosing each morning to live for god.
Part of today's message addressed men being the head of their households. Of course this was a funny moment as there were jokes back and forth about "men you ARE the head of your households!" right???.....another pastor joked "yep, I asked my wife and she said I was!" He really impressed upon the men and weighed heavy that the bible directs them to be the heads of their households and talked about how men act can directly affect how their family acts. If your kids see you make ungodly decisions in your life, they to will grow up to make ungodly decisions and it falls on your shoulders as the head of your family. This was very convicting to me. I've really tried in the past year to "submit to my husband" as the bible directs. I REALLY want to do as directed. I really want Ryan to be the head of our household and our family to follow his lead...not only the girls, but myself included. Ryan has really taken this on in the last year, not that he's not always been "in charge" but he's really taken the biblical meaning of it all and worked to give the girls that direction. So.....why is it so hard for ME to submit????? My husband is a very smart man, he's funny, and very loving. He spoils me and surprises me often. It's not him....it's ME. I am a headstrong woman. I'm not a feminist by any stretch of the imagination. I just forget to "submit"! While I love family, I am ridiculously independent. The girls ask if they can do something......and typically I just answer. It really never occurs to me to say "go ask papa" unless its life altering! When Ryan does act as the head of our household....and we disagree on things, I feel as though my parenting skills are under fire while honestly I really know that we are just two very different people with very different ways of parenting. I'm pretty easy going, Ryan is very strict, partly I believe because we have all girls.....he's now a dad who remembers what it was like to be a 14 year old boy, I constantly have to remind him that he needs to quit thinking all boys act badly, he constantly tells me I need to start thinking all boys do act badly! In the long run, I think I could certainly be more strict and he too could be more lenient. But again, if I am to submit as the Bible directs, I need to work on this!
Bottom line, we both want to live godly lives. We pray daily asking god to help us become more like him and to make us be better examples to others in living for him. In doing so, I will now also be praying daily for gods help for Ryan as he works to be the leader of our household, and for myself to willingly submit to my husband, just as he willingly submits to god.
Pastor Phil really inspired me today, got me energized, convicted me and opened my eyes to the things I've not been doing in my life for Christ. 2009 is full of promise and is our year to make choices.
What do you want chasing you this year? I'm praying for blessings and choosing each morning to live for god.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
The Playoffs are over......
At least in the Walke household they are! Nice boring day here today. Ally had bball practice, the other girls slept til some ridiculous hour again today and I didnt leave the house except to run kids here or there....didn't leave the car though, stayed in my sweats playing delivery mom!
Ryan and I are excited our flock group is meeting tomorrow night for the first time in a month! This is our small group at church and we really love these people, they truly are extended family god blessed us with! I know december is a crazy month for everyone, but I've really felt "off" not having this weekly group to meet with.
Ryan, Lizzie just finished watching the Colt's lose to the Chargers officials.....yep, I'm a sore loser, especially when I feel like we got beat by officials and not the opposition! The chargers always seem to be our biggest rivalry each year, and a tough opponent no doubt....I'm still a sore loser! Ryan just loudly announced there was no longer a reason to watch the playoffs....at least not in this house! So, not sure we'll be hosting a Super Bowl party this year......I'm sure he'll cool off, we just wont have a vested interest! And to make matters worse, Allyson is a Bears fan, so we're not gonna hear the end of this from her for a while!
So, from our family to yours, hope your playoff dreams are still alive.....we're out!
P
Ryan and I are excited our flock group is meeting tomorrow night for the first time in a month! This is our small group at church and we really love these people, they truly are extended family god blessed us with! I know december is a crazy month for everyone, but I've really felt "off" not having this weekly group to meet with.
Ryan, Lizzie just finished watching the Colt's lose to the Chargers officials.....yep, I'm a sore loser, especially when I feel like we got beat by officials and not the opposition! The chargers always seem to be our biggest rivalry each year, and a tough opponent no doubt....I'm still a sore loser! Ryan just loudly announced there was no longer a reason to watch the playoffs....at least not in this house! So, not sure we'll be hosting a Super Bowl party this year......I'm sure he'll cool off, we just wont have a vested interest! And to make matters worse, Allyson is a Bears fan, so we're not gonna hear the end of this from her for a while!
So, from our family to yours, hope your playoff dreams are still alive.....we're out!
P
Friday, January 2, 2009
Choose your battles....
Today I took my oldest daughter to get her first (and I would love to think ONLY) tattoo. Yep, I said Tattoo. This has been quite a debate amongst my friends and family. Ally has heard every argument for and against since she brought this request to us approximately 6 months ago. Now....mind you, I have a tattoo, I'm not against them, my only request has been that it be modest, tasteful, and in an area where I do not have to look at it every day. I don't want it hindering her job search later in life, I don't want people pre-judging her because they can see a tattoo without getting to know her fabulous self, and honestly I don't want to see if in prom pictures, college socials, graduations and last but hopefully not least....her wedding day!
Allyson is our smart easy kid. She's graduating with an honors diploma, she's active in church, she is a student leader in NMHS's PEERS, a teen abstinence program and she's the Editor-In-Chief of the school yearbook. She doesn't talk back, she has an open mind to pretty much anything someone suggests (as long as it's legal!) and she's really just a sweet person. She's that kid in school that literally everyone likes. She stands up for her beliefs and professes her love for god to her peers, she challenges people who talk poorly or are judgemental of others, her teachers love her and her college recommendation letters have brought me to tears. OK, so I know I'm mom and I'm obviously partial, but I'm really just printing what everyone else would about her also, she really is a good kid. So this tattoo was really just one of those pick your battles thing for us as parents.
Back in the fall, I asked Ally to consider participating in the Jr. Miss Scholarship program. Now let me tell you, this is incredibly out of Ally's comfort zone, she's our guitar playing, Chuck Taylor wearing, uncoordinated girl. And without batting an eye she said to me "OK". That's how easy she is, I suggested it and she agreed. I just love that she is open to trying new things even if it involves getting out of her comfort zone. After the first meeting, Ally came home and said there is NO way I can do that......they can say its not a pageant all they want, but it is, there is dancing, a fitness program and talent....it's a pageant! So we discussed it more and finally.....I bribed her! Yep, bribed....not ashamed to admit it, and her request was the tattoo. I could have gotten off far worse, I was willing to pay big bucks to get her to do this, I really felt strongly it was something she would enjoy if she could just get past the dancing! And she did, and she did an awesome job. She played guitar and sang publicly for the first time ever.....she's played guitar for six years!!!! So many people came to me and complimented her vocal and musical talents, and most had no clue she could even sing or play let alone was so talented! Better yet, she was glad she did it, not just for the tattoo....she knows I'd have given in to that eventually anyway, but because she really came out of her shell and put her talents to use. I am so glad I choose my battle. In the grand scheme of life, this was minor and worth the price.
When Allyson was little, she was my little toe headed blond, with long curly hair, in pink dresses and bows all the time, never would I have imagined my sweet girl to grow up and play guitar, wear chuck Taylor's, typically have pink highlights in her hair and a tattoo, but she does, and she's one of the most amazing people you'll ever meet, just ask her friends. In 8 short months our sweet girl heads off to college and right now we don't know if that will be New York, Connecticut, Georgia, Illinois or Indiana, but wherever she lands, I'm glad for the battles I've chosen in life, she's a pretty spectacular person.
What battles do you fight needlessly in your life? Sometimes giving in to the easy things will reap you a far greater payoff in the end.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Deal......or No Deal?
So Ryan and I just finished watching the super spectacular extra special New Years Day edition with the extra fabulous bonus case 2009 of Deal or No Deal. This is always a stressful thing for us to watch together and I've always wondered why. It occurred to me tonight as we debated back and forth on what to do, why to do it and who would be our "3"if we were ever on the show, you know.....the three people you get to take "on stage" with you when you play. Usually friends, family member, co-worker, people who know you well, know the risks you do or don't take in your life, know what money would do or mean for you....and why.
So what you need to know about Ryan and I to begin with is that we are game show junkies. Really, contests in general. We were both athletes in school, we are very competitive in nature, Ryan has coached our children's teams, we have taught them sports that we can play together as well as interests of their own. We all golf, our dogs all have golf related names, I gave Ryan and Lizzie both tennis racquet's for Christmas as Lizzie wants to take tennis lessons and Ryan played (as was pretty good!) in high school. We LOVE sports. We love all aspects of sports, we love to WIN! As a matter of fact, we're all pretty poor sports if we lose. Never to our opponents, we give credit where credit is due, but we use that loss to improve upon ourselves! Ryan and I have won concert tickets on radio show contests, we have won gift certificates from story writing contests, we have won weekends away in work contests, I suppose you could say we have both won pretty prestigious awards in our jobs just because the challenge was set before us....we love contests! I qualified for the first round of Jeopardy a few years back and unfortunately mothers intuition took over and one of the girls had something the weekend I had to go to Chicago for the second round of try-outs........bummer.....we LOVE Jeopardy. We joke we are both filled with useless knowledge that's why we know all these completely random things we can answer!
So.....long winded way to get back to Deal or No Deal......Ryan is a huge risk taker. I on the other hand am the safe one. The older I get, the less I like change.....which is interesting considering I have been a consultant for multiple years and am constantly telling people how and why to change! So.....tonight, when the gal was offered 97,000.00 and had to choose three cases still...I said TAKE THE MONEY!!! Ryan however rationalized that there was no way she would wipe out all three of the large amounts remaining in the next three choices....something about the odds of that happening.....statistically speaking....blah, blah, blah!!! I was having no part of it. I rationalized that even if she didn't choose those numbers, that was a lot of cash and there was no need to be greedy. Ryan didn't feel it was greedy at that point, rather not the worst case scenario in the game. OMG.......this man can rationalize until I am blue in the face....he's so stinking smart it drives me nuts!!! So needless to say, she did not wipe out all three big numbers at that point, however, she did go on to turn down even larger amounts and continue to dwindle her chances of leaving with anything. Thus ensued a crazy game of Ryan rationalizing at what point she should stop and me just continually reminding him I was happy with the 97K I had already taken. Suffice to say, because she opened the proper combination of cases she won a guaranteed 10K, and then because she continued to the very last cases (turning down crazy amounts of money I might add) she won the super duper special addition 2009 case also which had a car inside and down to the wire her case indeed had 100K in it. So....she ended up total with cash a prizes of 155K.....and while that is 55K more than I had, my blood pressure was in better shape than hers, I am sure of it!!!
It made me again revisit just how truly polar opposites Ryan and I are. It's true what they say....opposites do attract, and I think that's a good thing. We compliment each other so well. I am conservative, probably to conservative at times, Ryan on the other hand is a risk taker....a calculated risk taker, full of probabilities and statistics, but a risk taker non the less. We are good for each other. I keep him safe and he keeps me adventurous. It's quite the balancing act and god knew just what he was doing when he gave us each other. Much like the deal or no deal, we bounce everything off of each other, work, family, crisis. He gets me out of my comfort zone, and I calm him down. I thank god each time I think about how different we are. What differences do you and your spouse share that compliment each other so well? Thank God for those today.
So what you need to know about Ryan and I to begin with is that we are game show junkies. Really, contests in general. We were both athletes in school, we are very competitive in nature, Ryan has coached our children's teams, we have taught them sports that we can play together as well as interests of their own. We all golf, our dogs all have golf related names, I gave Ryan and Lizzie both tennis racquet's for Christmas as Lizzie wants to take tennis lessons and Ryan played (as was pretty good!) in high school. We LOVE sports. We love all aspects of sports, we love to WIN! As a matter of fact, we're all pretty poor sports if we lose. Never to our opponents, we give credit where credit is due, but we use that loss to improve upon ourselves! Ryan and I have won concert tickets on radio show contests, we have won gift certificates from story writing contests, we have won weekends away in work contests, I suppose you could say we have both won pretty prestigious awards in our jobs just because the challenge was set before us....we love contests! I qualified for the first round of Jeopardy a few years back and unfortunately mothers intuition took over and one of the girls had something the weekend I had to go to Chicago for the second round of try-outs........bummer.....we LOVE Jeopardy. We joke we are both filled with useless knowledge that's why we know all these completely random things we can answer!
So.....long winded way to get back to Deal or No Deal......Ryan is a huge risk taker. I on the other hand am the safe one. The older I get, the less I like change.....which is interesting considering I have been a consultant for multiple years and am constantly telling people how and why to change! So.....tonight, when the gal was offered 97,000.00 and had to choose three cases still...I said TAKE THE MONEY!!! Ryan however rationalized that there was no way she would wipe out all three of the large amounts remaining in the next three choices....something about the odds of that happening.....statistically speaking....blah, blah, blah!!! I was having no part of it. I rationalized that even if she didn't choose those numbers, that was a lot of cash and there was no need to be greedy. Ryan didn't feel it was greedy at that point, rather not the worst case scenario in the game. OMG.......this man can rationalize until I am blue in the face....he's so stinking smart it drives me nuts!!! So needless to say, she did not wipe out all three big numbers at that point, however, she did go on to turn down even larger amounts and continue to dwindle her chances of leaving with anything. Thus ensued a crazy game of Ryan rationalizing at what point she should stop and me just continually reminding him I was happy with the 97K I had already taken. Suffice to say, because she opened the proper combination of cases she won a guaranteed 10K, and then because she continued to the very last cases (turning down crazy amounts of money I might add) she won the super duper special addition 2009 case also which had a car inside and down to the wire her case indeed had 100K in it. So....she ended up total with cash a prizes of 155K.....and while that is 55K more than I had, my blood pressure was in better shape than hers, I am sure of it!!!
It made me again revisit just how truly polar opposites Ryan and I are. It's true what they say....opposites do attract, and I think that's a good thing. We compliment each other so well. I am conservative, probably to conservative at times, Ryan on the other hand is a risk taker....a calculated risk taker, full of probabilities and statistics, but a risk taker non the less. We are good for each other. I keep him safe and he keeps me adventurous. It's quite the balancing act and god knew just what he was doing when he gave us each other. Much like the deal or no deal, we bounce everything off of each other, work, family, crisis. He gets me out of my comfort zone, and I calm him down. I thank god each time I think about how different we are. What differences do you and your spouse share that compliment each other so well? Thank God for those today.
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