Control Freak.......

I guess it could be said I'm kind of a control freak. Wow....that sounds harsh when said out loud (or in print!). But if I'm being honest....I do like being in control. Again....I've worked in management for a long time and also been a consultant....control!

Sooooo.....the last two weeks god has set out to remind me.....I AM NOT IN CONTROL! He is, and everything happens in his time, his way and I have to just sit back and wait for his answers.

Two weeks ago yesterday, Allyson (our oldest) started throwing up anything and everything she tries to consume. Today is day 15....and I'm feeling completely helpless as a mom. Ally missed 5 days of school, went back for one day and then got lucky that we had two snow days she was able to sleep and try to recoup. She literally can only eat dry toast at this point. She was able to eat white rice for a few days and then it started making her nauseous again too! We went to the Dr on day 3 and tried a reflux drug and anti nausea med. We have had an ultra sound of her gall bladder, another round of meds...and one more day of school....yep today made day 3 in the last 11 she's been to school! Luckily two snow days help also! So yesterday finally we had our last test....nuclear medicine test, took two hours and an IV (which she hates!) and first thing this morning the nurse called me with the GOOD (bad) news!!! Allysons ejection fractions from her gall bladder is only functioning at 4%!!!! OK....so what I just said was....when you eat a fatty meal, your gall bladder "squeezes" out bile to break down all the fatty foods you've just eaten, it's processed and moved on through the stomach....when its not "squeezing" your body gets sick from the fat and either gets rid of it (throw up!) or you just remain nauseous...yuck! Now....as Ryan and Alizabeth asked...why does it work if you remove it. WELL....as long as the gall bladder is in the body...the body tries to make it work and do its job....as soon as they remove it, the body realizes and starts over compensating for the loss and learns to break down fatty foods without it! I was in tears, so excited, thanking God that the answer to this all was surgery for my baby. Sounds crazy I know....but my biggest fear was this test would show nothing and we would be back to square one.

At one point last night I looked at Allyson and she was near tears! Although I knew...I asked what was wrong, she gave me the most pathetic look with tears in her eyes and said "I just want to eat!" I felt hopeless. I can't do anything to take this away, make it better or even minimize it really....she has had nothing but a few pieces of toast, some white rice some plain animal crackers and a boca burger for the last 15 days! OK...yes I said boca burger. So last night I finally looked at her and said....so eat! She wanted a boca burger...which of course made me chuckle...this poor kid hasn't eaten in two weeks and the only thing she can come up with is a SOY burger!!! :P So I said....go ahead and eat it! Whats the worse thing that will happen, you get sick...oh well, everything makes you sick, you could enjoy it for just a few minutes if nothing else! So....she did have the boca burger...and 12 minutes later returned from having thrown it all up in the bathroom!!! :( She couldn't keep food down for a mere 15 minutes.)

We have an appointment next Tuesday, Jan 27 for a consult with a local surgeon. I'm mom, so of course I'm hoping by next Friday we can have this thing out....we'll see how soon they can get her in. She's not happy at all about surgery and is pretty scared actually, but so ready to eat she's happy for the outcome.

In the midst of all of this, Allysa and Alizabeth have both had colds and missed a few days of school, Ryan pulled a muscle in his neck/back and missed a day of work. AND if that's not enough, Allysa called me tonight, during warm-ups before the bball game tonight, girls who do not usually base her in cheer dropped her out of a stunt and she landed square on her hip and hurt her knee also. NO....I'm not kidding! She is now on crutches and hopping around or being carried by big papa!

Again though, I was SO thankful to God today....as crazy as it all seems and in such a different manner than most would think....he really did answer our prayers and provide a solution. GOD IS GOOD.

When I opened my bible to find scripture to add......I literally opened to the story of the Canaanite Woman. A woman was so desperate for her sick child that she risked her life, a Canaanites speaking to a Jew....longtime enemies.

Then Jesus answered, "Woman you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour. Matthew 15:28

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Trying to control these situations really did me no good, I know God has a plan, sometimes I just think I'll help him out! I laid it at the feet of the lord and he answered resoundingly.

What do you need to give to god? He answers prayers, not always in the way we think, but knowing Allyson needs to have this surgery was answered prayer.