So, I can think of nowhere in the bible that it tells me being the good and faithful servant was gonna be easy. As a matter of fact, I can think of several instances in the bible where you had to be faithful for a long long time......but the rewards were great. So why is it I'm surprised when my week has been so difficult the instant I feel so challenged to be the submissive wife.
Honestly.......I love my husband, I do.....but he really knows how to push my buttons! I'm sure I push his in my own time also, but he hasn't just publicly professed to work hard towards submissiveness!!! It's always the little things too. I really wish it was as simple as coming to the point of realization....you know,the point where I said.....I know I need to submit to husband just as he submits to Christ.....and voila! I'm submissive.
OK, so I know in the real world this doesn't happen, but it really would be nice. We are such a world of instant gratification, and its not that I don't want to have to work for the goal.....I just don't want to feel sabotaged along the way.
I already know in my mind it's gonna be hard. I'm not wired to be a follower.....leader all the way. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for team work......but guess who wants to be the teamleader! Couple that with the fact that I've worked in management for several years and have also been a consultant (you know, the person they hire to tell you how to get things done right!) for the past several years and it's stress waiting to happen! Add to all of this that I am now staying home with the girls and because of being downsized I feel like I'm not home on my own terms. I don't feel like I'm contributing to our family.....at least not in the same manor that I'm accustomed to. Don't get me wrong.... I LOVE being home, it is pure joy to me taking my kids to school, picking them up after.....runs to school for misc things throughout the day.....these things really do thrill me, again, it just didn't happen on my terms. So this week, I'm trying to adjust to kids being back to school.....feeling like I'm not contributing, AND struggling with submissiveness. God....help me. I know you will, and I know I have to just be faithful always and the blessings will come in your time and your way.
I guess I'm just gonna have to pray hard along the way because its painfully clear it is not gonna be easy.
What do you need to pray about to attain your reward? Sometimes the easiest thing to do is the one most forgotten.....praying diligently.
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